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Writer's pictureNiyati

Left Alone Again










Last week we told you a story about the feeling of being left out. This week, we dive into more facts and solutions for the same. We did a small survey with 13 people and here are their responses.







Feeling of being left out is not only prevalent in school but also in other places like church, apartment. Sometimes just to fit in, children, teenager make permanent changes to their appearance. Like having piercings to just look cool or getting those tattoos to fit in. These changes come with a lot of responsibility and commitment. If a person does this to suit their own will it’s all good. But, when it is done to satisfy others, the decision is very instant and passive. While some may feel comfortable with it in years to come, there can be some who will feel uncomfortable in this.



The Netflix show “Never Have I Ever” portrays the desire and want to fit in like none other. Devi lies about having sex with Paxton just to look cool around her peers. This leads to her being in hot water with Paxton. Not only this Devi tries hard to feel comfortable in what she is and how she is. Trying to dress up in a certain manner. Also, if we see the beginning we find that Devi is praying to god to make her cool. While it’s not only Devi who tries her best to filter herself so as to fit in. We all crave the feeling of fitting in and getting the sense of belonging.


While everyone has felt left out once or more, what stands out is that this is quite common

in teenagers. According to the developing minds, at least 1 in 2 teenagers face this. Facing these feelings can cause fear of other people, social isolation and a constant urge for validation. Sometimes it can even push a teenager towards anxiety and depression.


I have seen the ill effects of trying hard to fit in. I had become a chronic liar to fit it. Though, I realized its ill effects sometimes down the line. But, it took me time to get out of it. Trying to settle in can not only make you lie but also an attention seeker.


It's ok to try to settle in and feel that you belong there. But, what's not ok is to change ourselves, cut ourselves. Remember, we all are pieces of a puzzle and you will always find two people who will attach to you and align with you. The first step to discover these people is to be your unapologetic self. I find it hard to do this. I am so concerned about people, their opinions that I always cut myself. But I'm trying to change and, so should you.


To fit in is hard. But, nothing is easy. So you can follow these steps:-

  1. So remember to be honest and open to people.

You have to be honest so that people know who you truly are and the right kind of people come to you. If you lie you can be stuck with the people who don’t match your vibe and that’s the problem.


  1. Try hanging out with people.

This is my personal favorite to try to hangout with people in labs, canteen and class. Trust me, taking the first step is a good idea. If a group of people are playing truth and dare, and they are open to having more people. Go and ask them if you can join?


  1. Try to find people with the same interest as yours.

We all have certain interests and choices and even in a group of 5 people or 3 people there will be someone who will have at least one same interest as yours.


  1. Mingle is the Only Way

Least will be the time that people will try to contact you. In case you get people like these. You are damn lucky! Anyways try to get to know people.

Approach the people. I met my best friend in grade 9 and trust me she looked like a girl with a lot of attitude. But, when I approached her she wasn’t. Guess, what if I didn’t approach her? I wouldn’t have such a great friend. So go on and approach people.


  1. Overcome the fear of talking.

Most of us are so scared about talking because what will we think about us, that we end up missing fun moments. So don’t be scared to talk. People will judge you even if you don’t talk. So it’s better to talk and feel fine.


  1. Try to join clubs.

This is the best way to find your tribe. As we always join clubs of our interest. Thus, we will find like minded people. You have to try and mingle.


It is hard but nothing is easy. Try to do it. It won't cost you anything.


This post is in collaboration with forever blooming and threadoffeelings




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